Wednesday, January 19, 2005
And finally: why?
We turn, at last, to the question of why George W. Bush was re-elected. We understand there has been a certain amount of thought given to this topic already, but all of it has been wrong.
Putting aside for the sake of argument that he *was* re-elected--that's another story entirely--we're sufficiently rested now to delve into this.
First off, experience (and number crunching) has convinced us that the number of Americans who agree with the far right on most issues hovers between 33 and 37%. We know the right claim that at least half of all Americans are with them, but that's bluster, deceit, and wishful thinking. 37% is still too many, yes, but it's not a majority.
So why did that crucial 14% swing for them? Because of the crazy guard dog theory.
It is naive to think that 51% of Americans were duped by the Bush administration and the New York Times into believing that Iraq had WMD. There must be a significant number--both Republicans and swing voters--who knew it wasn't true but went along with it anyway. In other words, that they knew it was a lie and were ok with that.
That's what we're dealing with.
An awful lot of people know the case was bogus. They don't care. Why? Because we were attacked and they wanted to strike back.
We struck back at the wrong people, you say. Well, they don't care. Scare the terrorists, they think--scare the world. Just start blowing s*** and people up and they won't f*** with us. Period. Iraqis, Afghanis, Syrians, Indians, Basques, Danes, Macedonians, Muslims, Hindus, Hondas, Saudis, Saabs--whatever, they say. Nuke 'em.
Believe it. We aren't actually a nation of morons who don't know when we're being lied to; we're a nation of scared people who believe in the power of violence. Did you ever doubt that? Violence is our national god.
Ask a random American if they'd rather have a smart guard dog or a crazy guard dog, and 201k will bet you a bottle of Jamesons that most will say crazy.
But, you say, a smart guard dog will know what's a threat and what isn't! Yeah, yeah--you and your smarts.
Listen: a smart guard dog will never bite the mailman, that's true. And a crazy, dumb-a** guard dog will. He'll bark all night at nothing, tick off the neighbors, scare the paperboy, dig holes, wreck your fence, take a piece out of your niece's finger, and basically drive everyone crazy.
But no one will go in your yard--because you have a crazy guard dog.
And that's the way Americans think. Bite first and deal with the police later.
And that's why that 14% voted for the guy that looked them in the eye and lied. It wasn't about "values", and it wasn't because they felt he knew what he was doing in the "War on Terror". It was because, of the two guys running, he was the one who'd start dropping bombs even if it was a bad idea. Because in this world, they'd say, you can be the one shooting or the one being shot at, so you'd better be the one shooting.
Get your heads around it, folks. That's the way this country thinks. Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out.
And, oh by the way, if it turns out that's a bad idea--Americans aren't responsible, George Bush is. See how easy? That's what happens when you've never had a foreign war taken to your soil and paid the price for the decisions you let politicians make in your name. You can vote for the guy that drops bombs on the wrong enemy, be appalled (in due time), get a good night's sleep, then vote for someone else next time.
Nighty-night!
Putting aside for the sake of argument that he *was* re-elected--that's another story entirely--we're sufficiently rested now to delve into this.
First off, experience (and number crunching) has convinced us that the number of Americans who agree with the far right on most issues hovers between 33 and 37%. We know the right claim that at least half of all Americans are with them, but that's bluster, deceit, and wishful thinking. 37% is still too many, yes, but it's not a majority.
So why did that crucial 14% swing for them? Because of the crazy guard dog theory.
It is naive to think that 51% of Americans were duped by the Bush administration and the New York Times into believing that Iraq had WMD. There must be a significant number--both Republicans and swing voters--who knew it wasn't true but went along with it anyway. In other words, that they knew it was a lie and were ok with that.
That's what we're dealing with.
An awful lot of people know the case was bogus. They don't care. Why? Because we were attacked and they wanted to strike back.
We struck back at the wrong people, you say. Well, they don't care. Scare the terrorists, they think--scare the world. Just start blowing s*** and people up and they won't f*** with us. Period. Iraqis, Afghanis, Syrians, Indians, Basques, Danes, Macedonians, Muslims, Hindus, Hondas, Saudis, Saabs--whatever, they say. Nuke 'em.
Believe it. We aren't actually a nation of morons who don't know when we're being lied to; we're a nation of scared people who believe in the power of violence. Did you ever doubt that? Violence is our national god.
Ask a random American if they'd rather have a smart guard dog or a crazy guard dog, and 201k will bet you a bottle of Jamesons that most will say crazy.
But, you say, a smart guard dog will know what's a threat and what isn't! Yeah, yeah--you and your smarts.
Listen: a smart guard dog will never bite the mailman, that's true. And a crazy, dumb-a** guard dog will. He'll bark all night at nothing, tick off the neighbors, scare the paperboy, dig holes, wreck your fence, take a piece out of your niece's finger, and basically drive everyone crazy.
But no one will go in your yard--because you have a crazy guard dog.
And that's the way Americans think. Bite first and deal with the police later.
And that's why that 14% voted for the guy that looked them in the eye and lied. It wasn't about "values", and it wasn't because they felt he knew what he was doing in the "War on Terror". It was because, of the two guys running, he was the one who'd start dropping bombs even if it was a bad idea. Because in this world, they'd say, you can be the one shooting or the one being shot at, so you'd better be the one shooting.
Get your heads around it, folks. That's the way this country thinks. Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out.
And, oh by the way, if it turns out that's a bad idea--Americans aren't responsible, George Bush is. See how easy? That's what happens when you've never had a foreign war taken to your soil and paid the price for the decisions you let politicians make in your name. You can vote for the guy that drops bombs on the wrong enemy, be appalled (in due time), get a good night's sleep, then vote for someone else next time.
Nighty-night!
