Friday, February 08, 2008
The Obama-Times II
Day 134 of "We Obama, You Obama" from the New York Obama-Times, today from punch-me-faced prep David Obama-Brooks:
All of this, curious, reality-based, readers may want to know, is derived from a few select figures that suggest that Obama did well with college graduates in certain states. The truth is far more complicated, of course.
A quick look at the returns of our fair Commonwealth shows that while Obama did do well in some hoity-toity towns like Belmont, Brookline, Lexington, and Dover, Hillary won her share of them as well, taking Hingham, Winchester, Barnstable, Marblehead, and Swampscott. Obama won Duxbury -- but by four votes: 1441 to 1437. In Newton, Obama's margin was 17 votes: 12,101 to 12,084.
Apparently 17 obese, divorced, friendless Newtonians are moving up, from Safeway to Whole Foods.
Yes, We Can!
Far more telling is how well Hillary did in the not-quite-so-hoity-toity-but-plenty-comfortable towns; places like Arlington, Needham, Milton, Scituate, etc. The answer is: she did very, very, well.
Obviously Arlington and Milton voters don't realize what uneducated, obese, losers they are. Damn social climbers.
Of course, Obama ran away with the race in Cambridge, where voters torn between Barack, Dennis Kuchinich, and Estes Kefauver apparently decided that a woman president of Harvard was quite enough, thank you -- and please pass the absinthe spoon.
Worth noting, however, is how well Obama did in Boston, where he beat Clinton by almost 10,000 votes. David Obama-Brooks presumably believes those are post-graduate degree votes. Kids moving from Arlington Catholic to Boston College must also be moving from Foodmaster to Whole Foods.
Do their parents realize this?
Let's see where they shop after that first credit card bill arrives home.
Anyway, the real story -- the one the Obama-Times doesn't want to talk about -- is how overwhelmingly Hispanics, Latinos, Portuguese, and Luso Americans seemed to have voted for Clinton. That, more than anything, is the story of how Massachusetts voted -- and possibly how California voted, and how Texas will vote.
Fall River: 12,544 for Clinton to 3,120 for Obama.
New Bedford: 11,241 for Clinton to 4,377 for Obama.
Lynn: 8,770 for Clinton to 3,766 for Obama.
Meanwhile, David Obama-Brooks can look to Missouri, where Obama, who won only five counties, took the entire state by less than 10,000 votes -- 49.2% - 48% -- and only by taking 63% of the 187,234 doctoral-degree-candidate votes in St. Louis.
So there you go.
In any event, Mr. Obama-Brooks himself nailed the key to this primary:
And that, if the question is, "Who can beat John McCain?" is game, set, and match.
- 2/8/08 - Barack Obama voters are college educated, secure, hopeful, and shop at Whole Foods. Hillary Clinton voters are high school drop-outs, shop at Safeway, divorce at twice the rate of Obama voters, have kids out of wedlock, are obese, are much more likely to smoke and die younger, and have fewer friends and lower aspirations.
All of this, curious, reality-based, readers may want to know, is derived from a few select figures that suggest that Obama did well with college graduates in certain states. The truth is far more complicated, of course.
A quick look at the returns of our fair Commonwealth shows that while Obama did do well in some hoity-toity towns like Belmont, Brookline, Lexington, and Dover, Hillary won her share of them as well, taking Hingham, Winchester, Barnstable, Marblehead, and Swampscott. Obama won Duxbury -- but by four votes: 1441 to 1437. In Newton, Obama's margin was 17 votes: 12,101 to 12,084.
Apparently 17 obese, divorced, friendless Newtonians are moving up, from Safeway to Whole Foods.
Yes, We Can!
Far more telling is how well Hillary did in the not-quite-so-hoity-toity-but-plenty-comfortable towns; places like Arlington, Needham, Milton, Scituate, etc. The answer is: she did very, very, well.
Obviously Arlington and Milton voters don't realize what uneducated, obese, losers they are. Damn social climbers.
Of course, Obama ran away with the race in Cambridge, where voters torn between Barack, Dennis Kuchinich, and Estes Kefauver apparently decided that a woman president of Harvard was quite enough, thank you -- and please pass the absinthe spoon.
Worth noting, however, is how well Obama did in Boston, where he beat Clinton by almost 10,000 votes. David Obama-Brooks presumably believes those are post-graduate degree votes. Kids moving from Arlington Catholic to Boston College must also be moving from Foodmaster to Whole Foods.
Do their parents realize this?
Let's see where they shop after that first credit card bill arrives home.
Anyway, the real story -- the one the Obama-Times doesn't want to talk about -- is how overwhelmingly Hispanics, Latinos, Portuguese, and Luso Americans seemed to have voted for Clinton. That, more than anything, is the story of how Massachusetts voted -- and possibly how California voted, and how Texas will vote.
Fall River: 12,544 for Clinton to 3,120 for Obama.
New Bedford: 11,241 for Clinton to 4,377 for Obama.
Lynn: 8,770 for Clinton to 3,766 for Obama.
Meanwhile, David Obama-Brooks can look to Missouri, where Obama, who won only five counties, took the entire state by less than 10,000 votes -- 49.2% - 48% -- and only by taking 63% of the 187,234 doctoral-degree-candidate votes in St. Louis.
So there you go.
In any event, Mr. Obama-Brooks himself nailed the key to this primary:
- The next states on the primary calendar have tons of college-educated Obamaphile voters. Maryland is 5th among the 50 states, Virginia is 6th. But later on, we get the Hillary-friendly states. Ohio is 40th in college education. Pennsylvania is 32nd.
And that, if the question is, "Who can beat John McCain?" is game, set, and match.
